Maeve, 1979

EXCERPT FROM A GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER

She stepped away from me. ‘And now I’m going downstairs to make dinner. We’ll get you sorted tomorrow with clothes and whatever else you need. In the meantime,’ – she reached over to the dressing table and picked up something from a small glass dish – ‘you might want to wear this.’

I looked at her, not understanding.

‘It’s a wedding ring,’ she said. ‘It’s up to you, but it might be a good idea.’

‘But . . . but . . . I don’t . . . I don’t have a husband,’ I stammered.

‘He’s dead,’ she said, bluntly. ‘You’re my widowed niece and you have nobody else in the world. We’ll figure out your story together, later on. But that’s why you’ve come here to live with me.’

I could feel my life taking flight. A bright new map was spreading out before me. ‘I can change my name,’ I said. ‘I mean, properly change it – both names. Become a whole other person.’

Eileen looked at me for a moment. Her face was sad. ‘I think you’ve had to do that already,’ she said. ‘But yes. You can.’ She paused. ‘I know you’re a fighter, Maeve. And you can change your name either way. Take your time to decide about wearing the ring.’

I took it from her and slipped it onto my ring finger. As I did so, I remembered the glint of the nuns’ silver bands. Brides of Christ.

It was a perfect fit. ‘I’m a bit tired right now of fighting,’ I said. ‘And of feeling ashamed. And this might make things easier for Belle, too, mightn’t it?’

She squeezed my hand. ‘Yes. This is not a forgiving country, Maeve. Not for so-called “illegitimate children”, and certainly not for “fallen women”.’

It was a phrase I’d heard before. Father Farrell had used it often enough, on the days he’d visited St Brigid’s. Fallen from what? It had always puzzled me. But it was clear from what he said that whatever heights we’d fallen from, it was all our fault.

‘Why are we the ones to have fallen?’ I asked. ‘We did nothing wrong.’

A GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER by Catherine Dunne will be published on the 18th of June.

“She squeezed my hand. ‘Yes. This is not a forgiving country, Maeve. Not for so-called “illegitimate children”, and certainly not for “fallen women”.’” #excerpt @DunneCatherine @BetimesBooks

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